I have feel of revolutionary and genuinely gorgeous Miles Davis tunes, or simply the crazy mix of astonishing sounding notes from Larry Coryell. Or Hiromi Uehara, who is emotionally energetic, maybe because all those emotions inside her reflect on the piano, to tell you to jump, do something. Let them make a sound!
But I may be John Coltrane, who is hard to understand sometimes, who uses all 12 notes in a way that ties people up to those long, basically complex solos. It doesnt end, it doesnt let you go, its an endless pleasure like in some land in deep ocean full of psychedelic algae and fish with contradicting colors.
I may be Cannonball Adderley, who uses technique for a misty sentimentality (weird, isnt it?) and actually turn you on with it. Well no, Im definitely not Cannonball then, it was a wrong guess.
But I might be Jacos music. Pastorius Beril. Im not as insane as Jaco himself, but Im as punky as his music, deep inside. His bass slaps and solos define my daydreams and fantasies, while Charles Mingus defines my happy/pleased/content self. Just like when eating mandarins, grapes, buying a ticket for a show I really want to see, or crossing the sea under the Bosphorus bridge in a sea motor. Or how I feel when I wake up in the morning and find out that I dont have school that day, so I can go back to sleep again. When I get back to sleep, the sweet sensation I get from closing my eyes again is Oscar Petersons music. And when I get in the middle of my dream, it is wildly the fusion of Mike Sterns guitar. His music is some conceptionally different version of my dreams good or bad. Whats funny about this is, I rarely remember my dreams. But if I remember one, I never forget it.
Stan Getz is the Bossa-me. Im not always bossa, my sister is, but Im bossa when Im with someone Im fond of, and really like. I like that mood, it is a mildly warm feeling.
Sometimes Im a Greg Osby tune which consist of unique, matchless, random but inspirational and mind-freeingly beautiful sentences of music. It is melodically free in a way that catches you and wraps you up inside it. I can sometimes be like that, and it is way too cool. But it usually happens when Im alone or with people I really love. What happens when Im with people Im not comfortable with, so I cant spend my time with people the way I want, I become Bill Evans songs. The beauty of the melody closes up in its own, and you have to really listen to it closely to appreciate it. Its a shy music, in the way I am in those shelled up moments.
Im Charlie Hadens contrabass when I feel really good about myself. Like when I achieve something, feel pretty, smart, creative or intelligent, sound very good The times Im proud, I have these Charlie Hadens Liberation Music Orchestra moments and Im very happy, confident, strong.
Im sound of Joshua Redmans sax when I dont really care about something. I dont know why this happens with his music though, I guess its just free, not free jazzy but free from concern and deep thoughts. When I do care about something, especially someone, Im Django Reinhardt. Its a sensitive music kind, nice and lovely. I become Djangos swinging guitar, when I care about someone and do my best to swing that person too with happiness.
Im Ahmad Jamals piano when Im hopeful and excited. It is a pretty feeling, excitement. Especially before giving a concert or just before opening a gift from someone you know would get you something thrilling.
But its all about love. Love and Laughter. Love for life, love for everything. Im the music of Eldar Djangirov, when Im in love.
I am the one specific composers music though, who isnt in this world of jazz musicians yet. I am that amazing persons music when my lifelong dreams come true. That musicians literally me: Beril Meşe. I will be composing the tunes that will naturally define me, as a person whose dreams came true and keep coming true.